Self-Help Books – A Waste of Time?

Ken’s Blog

Young SBIer Istvan asked the following in the SBI! Forums…

‘The question is about self-help, or should I say: The Self-Help Industry! I’ve just finished reading “Think And Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, and read some reviews on its Amazon page. I intended to find the 5 best self-help books out there to give me a guidance in life (I’m 17), but instead I’ve completely lost all my enthusiasm…. So what do you think about it? Is it worth spending/wasting huge amounts of time on reading any of these books or listening to tapes etc… or is it a complete waste of time?”

Ah…at 17, I was probably reading Ayn Rand, and then reading more “mass-market libertarians” like Harry Browne and Robert Ringer (who inspired me in many ways, including the tortoise, and he’s also an SBIer!).

Fast forward by 10 years or so…

A few years out of medical school and after leading a massive public fight against our government over quality of care in Montreal’s EMS system (we won), I recognized that a socialized medical system doomed me to be a slave to the state (which turned out to be true, some 30 years later).

I loved emergency medicine, but I needed to find something else to do to build me a net worth that would not have me still working at medicine at 70 because I had to.

—–SIDEBAR——
The ideal combination (for a new way of earning income) is
passion AND monetization potential, remember. You may, of
course, tilt towards one or the other, as long as you
realize the nature of the trade-off that you make and what
it means to you, long-term.
—–SIDEBAR——

The single most important sliding doors of your life will be the points where you stop thinking and you decide to DO. Or NOT to do…

You’ll rarely regret the decisions to DO. But NOT doing something you believe in will eat at you for years.

Deciding to go into business, I realized (thanks to believing government lies for a couple of years) that doctors are a rather sheltered and naive bunch and tend not to do well in the “real world” (i.e., where people are not “patients”). While there are exceptions, it’s true for most, for a variety of reasons.

So I needed to read a ton of information that I lacked…

1) Investing books – Bottom line? This became simple. I felt no urge to figure out if a stock was over-or-under-priced. Unless you want to be a professional investor and dedicate your life to one form of investing, KISS and diversify.

I’ve always kept this very simple (a blend of no-load funds, bonds, short-term cash, and gold generates very safe and consistent returns overall). The only exception was one tiny, inefficient niche that I discovered that was fun and lucrative (which ultimately became the first product I sold online).

2) Business – Slowly learned how to organize, plan, lead, network, negotiate, etc. I simply read as much as I could, and still do. I often wish I had taken the degree that Nori is taking (entrepreneurialism and management) — what a great structure. But you CAN learn it on the street, as long as you are reading while you are doing.

3) Self-help – We all have weak points. I don’t believe we can “fix” them — but we can learn to recognize and control them. And self-help books can play a role in that.

You’ll find something of value in the classics. I remember taking away points that resonated with me in “Think And Grow Rich” (although have long since lost those notes). I was totally mystified by other parts.

Use these books as doorways to yourself. You’ll learn to play to your strengths and let others manage the areas where you are not at your best. (Naturally, ignore the upsells that seem to follow so many of these books.)

Aside from self-help…

Learn to understand other people. Network with good people. You are only as good as the people you associate with. Provide value for value in those relationships.

Like you, I started to doubt the sincerity of many of the people in the self-help industry. It is much like the “make money online” and “diet” industries. Loads of charlatans…

It’s full of folks who find new ways to say the same old thing. (For example, “diet” advice boils down to taking in fewer calories than you burn, as a lifestyle. The rest is all marketing spin.)

Tremendous speakers rev you up in the self-help biz, then leave you with nowhere to go except to buy their higher priced products.

They give each other raving testimonials for many books that are total BS. Those testimonials are where I lost respect for authors who had put out tremendous initial works. Speaking of which…

The single best approach to self-help books is to read the “classic,” THE major success of a given author. I find that few of their other efforts live up to their magnum opus. Their earlier books often contain ideas that are not yet well-developed. And the “post-bestseller” books often feel like there’s just not enough left in their brains to do it again.

Suck into your brain the best, leave the rest, and you will learn how to get the most out of yourself.

I learned a lot the hard way, as books were complemented with real world experience in the toy business (where we licensed 23 toys and games to companies all over the world), then online with PennyGold (a software program for investing), and then when I wrote MYSS! (“Make Your Site Sell!,” my first book).

Few people put what they read into practice, whether it’s self-help or diet books or Net marketing books. Ask people what was in a book they read a year later, and few remember. They’re onto the next “latest and greatest” (that they will also do nothing about).

There comes a time where reading must become action. If you are constantly seeking and preparing, you’ll never find. There is never a perfect time. Once you make the decision, get going!

Do it!…

I did. SBIers do.

You decide to DO something, you stick with it, and you make it happen.

How rare is this type of reaction?

Well, many successful SBIers have recounted their successes to friends who hate their jobs, or who want to stay home with their kids. They talk about the pleasures of building a business from home, the rewarding sense of self-reliance, the growth they experience as they discover strengths they never realized they had.

Their friends return blank stares.

Most don’t walk the walk. They merely talk the talk.

Inertia and fear of the unknown are powerful enemies.

For example, although I hated winters and Canada’s high taxes, it took me a long time to realize that “home” was an accident. There was no magic to being in Canada, just an accident of birth. And yet… we are tied to our countries of origin.

It’s only in the last 10 years that I realized that there were far better places to live in than Canada. (Nothing personal to those who truly love Canada, each of us makes our own calls.)

The point is that it took almost 50 years before I ACTIVELY realized that we could and should be living elsewhere. And it took a few more years to DO something about it.

Learn to break inertia, to challenge axioms, to go where the crowds head not, to DO… and your life will be more rewarding than you can imagine.

To do that, you must recognize that you, like most people, don’t like change, external or internal. Once aware, you can push through and make external change happen.

Internal change?…

People don’t change. Not ever. (How many marriages have floundered on the rocks of “s/he’ll change.”)

Hopefully, we do become wiser and develop some self-insight. Self-help books can be useful catalysts in that process. If we are smart and open to those insights, if we take them seriously… we learn to manage our weaknesses and play to our strengths.

Even then, most people have trouble with “DOing.” Most prefer the certainty of having their lives programmed for them and knowing what they’ll be doing next week, even if that is going to work to a job they dislike, in a city and country that is nothing more than an accident.

Self-help? Take the gold from each of the best minds, using the information that resonates with you. Leave the rest.

At the end of the day, most of the information in the self-help books boils down to a rather small amount of common-sense nuggets. Internalizing that information, without making a big deal about it, is important when one takes the road less traveled.

All the best,

Ken Evoy (CEO, SiteSell)
Ken Evoy is the Founder, CEO, and Chairman of the Board of SiteSell Inc. He is the creator of Solo Build It!, SiteSell's comprehensive online business-building system. Ken is also a successful inventor, author, and emergency physician. He feels strongly that solopreneurs can be empowered by leveraging their income-building potential online.
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